Back in the day,
the good ‘ol days,
we would actually have good field trips.
We’d go to zoos.
We’d go hiking in the mountains, and sleep in handbuilt cabins, with rustic, homemade Coloradan food.
We’d go rappelling off of rocks larger than your ego.
We’d visit replica cliff dwelling sites, honoring those before us. I guess.
We’d go to ranches, and pet animals. They were kinda stinky, but damn were they adorable.
And then, you get older,
and i shit you not,
people stop caring.
The last field trip i had before hastily dropping out of high-school with one year left to complete, was the local waste water treatment plant, on the windiest day i’ve ever witnessed.
That’s not why i dropped out, but that would be pretty funny if it were. It certainly affirmed my decision, looking back.
Oh, i almost forgot. We went to Whole Foods right before for lunch. i ordered a chai latte, with a pastry and a salad or something like that. It was probably $73. Then i got some kambutcha, and we were on our merry way.
Needless to say, i laughed in the face of irony when i realized that the entire time —
i had to shit.
When we arrived, i even cheekily asked where to shit, whilst gesturing to one of the many shit-trenches. They did not find that amusing.
i’d be lying if i said i still don’t find it fucking hilarious.
Our lips were chapped, and we wreaked of shit by the end of it.
Our neighbors shit.
Our own shit.
It was freezing that day.
Nothing like shit-frost to bring out the studious nature in a bunch of fuck happy teenagers with a chip on their shoulder for anything educational.
i brought a scarf for some reason.
i had to promptly discard of it.
Guess what it smelled like?
No, not cardamom.
We pretended to be delighted to see how this rusting machine over here could filter the shit out of shit, and make shitty water.
Only to find out that it can’t filter out everything. Like narcotics, pills, and most chemicals.
The residents later found out that the local water was in fact, harmful to consume.
There was one kid there who actually enjoyed himself.
i envy that fella.
Anyone who can find happiness amidst a plant of our own collective fecal matter is a better man than i.
Another kid dropped his pack of gum in one of those giant vats of shit outside. i have no idea why he would want to chew gum, with the smell of shit interupting every minty-moment he opened his mouth. The supervisor at the time had to fish it out like when there are too many leaves in the swimming pool.
That made me laugh really hard. i think i almost shot a clot to my brain. It took so long. Longer than a wedding reception, or an after school anti-drug special. Highlight of my day.
At least he got paid to be there.
i got a couple of giggles out of the deal.
That’s good enough for me.